Themes and Safety

Themes and safety

We intend to provide a larp where we play on heavy themes. Of course it won’t be a larp where we only play violent scenes. And of course we won’t allow things like real violence and real sex. How many scenes with heavy themes you play, will depend partly on the combination of your own in-game decisions and off-game wishes.

Besides the heavy themes, we have a lot of positive themes we play on. Like for example family bonds, friendship, traditions, trust and hope. We do trust you all know how to play on these kinds of themes. And we do provide you with more information about the setting, background and character relations in your personal background. We don’t think it is necessary to inform you about all possible positive themes in detail in this section.

That is different for the heavier themes. Because of safety reasons we will discuss all possible heavy themes very explicitly below. In this way we make sure you won’t be negatively surprised when one of the discussed themes appears in a scene. And for the more physical themes, we want to make sure everybody knows what the possibilities are, what is allowed and what is not allowed. This information is important to ensure a safe event for everyone. But it definitely doesn’t mean you will play all or only the mentioned themes during the event.

During the pre-game workshops on Thursday evening, we will provide you with some meta techniques to play on the physical themes in a safe way.

The following themes are part of the setting and we expect you to be comfortable enough to play on these themes. Because it is likely you will be confronted with these themes to a greater or lesser extent:

  • Indoctrination
  • Aspects of a cult
  • Unwanted childlessness
  • Death and murder
  • Physical violence
  • Being an aggressor
  • Being a victim
  • Torture
  • Manipulation
  • Divine powers
  • Having to obey
  • Discrimination

Themes which might happen, but you are always free to opt-out of these themes:

  • Romance
  • Sex (wearing underwear obliged)
  • Sexual abuse (wearing underwear obliged)
  • Nudity (but only allowed during non-sexual play)

Themes which are not allowed to play on:

  • Abortion
  • Child abuse

What we do NOT accept during the whole event:

  • All things which are not allowed according to Dutch law.
  • ​Real (as in unsimulated) sex.
  • Conflicts solved by actual competitive physical confrontations.
  • Real racism.
  • Body shaming/negativity/teasing, based on the real body aspects of someone.
  • Teasing someone because of someone’s off-game accent.
  • Using drugs.

What we do NOT accept during in-game time:

  • Touching genitals or breasts.
  • Real (as in unsimulated) French kissing.
  • Drinking real alcohol.

When someone violates the above mentioned restrictions, we will remove this person from our event, immediately. In case of discussions, the organization decides, after hearing involved parties. You won’t get back your paid fee and we won’t pay for an alternative sleeping place or other extra costs.

Safety mechanics

Look-down

If you want to leave the scene only for off-game reasons, use the look-down. Shield your eyes with your hand and walk away. Other people should let you leave and not play on the fact you left.

“No play” or tap out

​If something happens and you really need to stop the situation immediately. You can say “no play”. If you can’t talk, tap out (tap twice with your hand on the other person). The other player has to stop the scene immediately and/or release you. You have to communicate together to solve the situation. If possible, you can continue the scene afterwards. If it’s not possible, find a good place to talk. This can be in a more private place. Or ask what somebody needs to help him or her.

“Oh mother”

If you want to tell something off-game to the other player, but you don’t want to stop the scene, you can use the words “Oh mother”. After these words, you can say whatever you want to say. The other player accepts this information, acts on it if necessary and you both continue the scene like nothing happened in-game.

Playing on violence, romance and sex

For Trials of Torment we will be playing out stories about physical abuse and optionally about romance, sex and sexual abuse. To make sure all players feel safe participating in these kinds of scenes, we have mechanics for violence, sexual play and abuse play.

Fighting with larp-safe latex weapons is allowed during this larp. We expect everybody knows how to use these larp-weapons in a safe way; hold back your hits, don't hit the head, don't hit the genitals and don't stab with weapons that contain a core.

Physical interactions that don’t need off game negotiation/calibration: Fake slapping (on the hand), stage kisses (on your own thumb), light pushing, arm grabbing, light wrestling.

Physical interactions that need mandatory off-game negotiation/calibration: Intimate scenes, combat scenes, hardcore violence.

On Thursday Evening we will have some mandatory workshops. During these workshops we will discuss and show in which way we play on violence, romance and sex during this larp. We will show some theater techniques which are allowed to be used.

Physical violence

Violence will be simulated by show fighting. During the pregame-workshop on Thursday, we will show some techniques you can use. Like choking someone, pulling someone’s hair, punching or kicking someone.

Slapping

Without calibration, you always use a theater technique for slapping someone. This means you slap on your own hand. Players who did calibrate and are ok with slapping and being slapped can make use of that theater technique. Make sure you know how this technique works, before using this technique.

Romance, sex and sexual abuse

Romance, sex and sexual abuse are themes you can opt-out. So it’s even more important to calibrate in advance, before starting to play on these themes. The player who is least comfortable with playing out these kinds of scenes, decides the way you will act during these scenes. This decision is final: no explanation, discussion or pushing-the-boundries is needed.

These are the possibilities during the larp:

No play: When one of the players has any doubts, this player won’t play with these themes. Thank the player for the honest response and continue with other kinds of themes and don’t mention these themes anymore.

Fade to black: Roleplay all the flirting and talking you want until the point you become OC uncomfortable or the real sex would actually occur. At that point you narratively break the scene and negotiate what happens without being explicit. You wait for the duration of this scene to last and continue playing.

Ars Amandi

The core of the Ars Amandi method involves limiting the body area that the players touch and use in physical interaction to hands, arms and shoulders. Touching the permitted areas, combined with eye contact, breath and moans constitutes the technique. Touching the hand and underarm symbolizes foreplay. The further one goes up to the shoulder, the further the sexual interaction goes.

Theater sex

Sex will be simulated by “theater sex”, like dry humping. Although the character might be naked in game, the player will keep underwear on. Underwear can be as expansive as the players want, so it might be tights underneath the costume. Real touching of genitals and breasts is not allowed.

Kissing

There are two possibilities. The fake stage kiss or the more realistic kissing. When you give someone a fake stage kiss, you cup the other player’s face in a way that appears natural and romantic before drawing them in. Right before you kiss, you place your thumb over the lips of the player you want to kiss. In this way you kiss your own thumb and you have no direct mouth-to-mouth contact.

If you calibrate in advance and both players agree to more realistic theater kissing, you can kiss without a thumb in between.

French kissing you can simulate with both above techniques by moving your own tongue against the inside of your own cheeks. In this way you will fake like the other player's tongue is in your mouth. Real french kissing is not allowed during this larp.